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You are not arrogant, are you?

Posted on September 22, 2007 
Filed Under Coaching

Although it may sound paradoxically, quite often shy people are perceived by others as arrogant. Actually that’s an explainable phenomenon. One source of arrogance lays in depths of our unconscious trying to protect our self-esteem. Also it may occur due to intensive concentration on our own problems when were are focused on ourselves.

Of course, being reputed as arrogant may have pernicious influence on your relationships, ability to find and retain friends, and on overall quality of your life.

So what do yo do? Simple: find out whether your are used to arrogant behavior; and if yes — get rid of that habit.

Here is a quick self-evaluation check-list:

• Do you usually think how others would judge your look and your actions?
• Do you sometimes hesitate to thank people, e.g. when you feel self-conscious or shy to bother/contact them?
• When you have your opinion, do you usually interrupt others and try to press them to accept your point of view as the only correct one?
• Do you usually speak more than listen?
• When asked an improper question, do you sometimes get anxious and angry?
• Have you forgotten to wish happy birthday to anyone of your family members or close friends over the past few months?

If you’ve answered Yes on at least a couple of the questions, you may behave arrogantly.

To cease it, you need to tackle both the particular negative behavior (consciously control yourself to don’t do that) and your internal problem — whether it’s lack of self-esteem or other issues.

For the latter (internal problems) I suggest you to also consider your own view on the issues, how do you feel about them. Often taking a different perspective makes problems stimulative obstacles or even opportunities.

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